Monday, June 9, 2008
Wasn't all bad
The weekend wasn’t all bad. Chrissi was in town so some of us met for lunch at Charlestons on Sunday, I had a pedicure with my mom, and I realized that a pair of khaki capris that I bought at the end of April are a size too big now!
Rough weekend
This weekend was a really rough weekend. I’m not even entirely sure why – it’s not like I had any sort of bad news, but still, was just really upset. Thinking about babies, hearing about them, seeing them …. It all just really upset me and I spent most of the day Saturday and part of Sunday, laying on the couch crying/napping/watching stupid movies. 99% of the time I am fine being around babies, I usually love it. I like hearing about how things are going, planning showers, asking how pregnancies are, etc. This weekend I just didn’t.
I have no idea what triggered it. Could be because it was so gloomy and rainy on Saturday. Could be because Jason was gone most of the weekend with work/Relay for Life stuff. Could be because I was talking to my mom about all of the garage sales with baby stuff. I remember last summer during garage sale season being excited that I’d hopefully get to go around and find some good deals on things. Now we’re to another garage sale season and I still can’t do that.
Whatever the cause, everything just hurt this weekend. Luckily I have an amazing husband, who just by giving me a hug when he got home, can make me feel so much better. I feel bad, because I know there are times he’s hurting too, but he’s so strong for me when I can’t seem to be.
I know this may make it difficult for my friends – what can they say, not say, how will they know if I’m upset, etc. All I can say is that there really is no good answer as this is such a twisted emotional rollercoaster. Like I said before though, 99% of the time I’m just fine and love to hear about everything. So I guess I’m saying that no one has to act differently or feel bad if I’m upset, but just understand if I don’t seem as interested or excited about baby things as normal that I’m not trying to be rude, I just need some time to be away from it for awhile.
I have no idea what triggered it. Could be because it was so gloomy and rainy on Saturday. Could be because Jason was gone most of the weekend with work/Relay for Life stuff. Could be because I was talking to my mom about all of the garage sales with baby stuff. I remember last summer during garage sale season being excited that I’d hopefully get to go around and find some good deals on things. Now we’re to another garage sale season and I still can’t do that.
Whatever the cause, everything just hurt this weekend. Luckily I have an amazing husband, who just by giving me a hug when he got home, can make me feel so much better. I feel bad, because I know there are times he’s hurting too, but he’s so strong for me when I can’t seem to be.
I know this may make it difficult for my friends – what can they say, not say, how will they know if I’m upset, etc. All I can say is that there really is no good answer as this is such a twisted emotional rollercoaster. Like I said before though, 99% of the time I’m just fine and love to hear about everything. So I guess I’m saying that no one has to act differently or feel bad if I’m upset, but just understand if I don’t seem as interested or excited about baby things as normal that I’m not trying to be rude, I just need some time to be away from it for awhile.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
IUI this morning
IUI went ok this morning. They told me not to empty my bladder like I normally do and that made it a little easier. There was no hard belly pushing or tenaculum, just some pressure and bad cramping. I took a Tylenol w/ codeine beforehand, and I think that helped take the edge off. Afterwards we looked at my lining and it had thickened a little bit. The first two times she measured it at almost 7, the second two at just over 5, so who knows? Either way they didn’t seem TOO concerned about it. It’s not optimal, but it’s doable. Then we looked quickly at my left ovary and it looks like I just started to ovulate – yay!! Instead of a perfect circle follicle it was this oblong thing and they said it looked like the egg was probably released. I think this made our timing just about perfect so I’m pretty excited about that. Especially because we had some “backup” from Monday night and we’ll be adding some more tomorrow probably. So now we wait!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Sign ups!
I should be ovulating sometime tonight or tomorrow, based on the HCG trigger shot given at 10pm last night. This means that Thursday will probably be 1dpo (days past ovulation) and is the beginning of my 2ww.
Due to this, I am now taking signups for a day of worrying. On the day you commit to, please think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant. At the end of the day let me know how agonizing it was and what your symptoms were. Things to specifically pay attention to:
- Do your boobs hurt? What about if you poke at them every so often to check? Do they hurt then?
- Are you peeing often? If so, is it because you’ve had more to drink that day, or could it mean something else? Or are you just imagining that you’re peeing more often and really it’s just a normal amount? Or is it because you’re pregnant?
- Are you more tired than usual? Do you want to take a nap in the afternoon? Wonder if maybe you just didn’t get enough sleep last night or is it because you’re pregnant?
- How is your stomach feeling? Any nausea? Weird twinges? Indigestion? Did you eat something weird and that’s the cause? Are you stressed and nervous and that’s causing it? Or is it because you’re pregnant?
- When you go to the bathroom, check the toilet paper after you wipe. Any signs of red? Even maybe the faintest pink? This is especially important if you’re taking a day between 6 and 10dpo. It could mean implantation spotting and you might be pregnant.
You should also spend a good deal of time staring at my chart and wondering if the temps mean something. Also, many hours reading message boards about other’s symptoms is required.
Due to this, I am now taking signups for a day of worrying. On the day you commit to, please think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant. At the end of the day let me know how agonizing it was and what your symptoms were. Things to specifically pay attention to:
- Do your boobs hurt? What about if you poke at them every so often to check? Do they hurt then?
- Are you peeing often? If so, is it because you’ve had more to drink that day, or could it mean something else? Or are you just imagining that you’re peeing more often and really it’s just a normal amount? Or is it because you’re pregnant?
- Are you more tired than usual? Do you want to take a nap in the afternoon? Wonder if maybe you just didn’t get enough sleep last night or is it because you’re pregnant?
- How is your stomach feeling? Any nausea? Weird twinges? Indigestion? Did you eat something weird and that’s the cause? Are you stressed and nervous and that’s causing it? Or is it because you’re pregnant?
- When you go to the bathroom, check the toilet paper after you wipe. Any signs of red? Even maybe the faintest pink? This is especially important if you’re taking a day between 6 and 10dpo. It could mean implantation spotting and you might be pregnant.
You should also spend a good deal of time staring at my chart and wondering if the temps mean something. Also, many hours reading message boards about other’s symptoms is required.
Minor breakdown
After two minor breakdowns and talking with Kim, we’ve decided to go forward with the IUI. I got really really discouraged last night after doing some reading on lining thickness and was ready to throw the towel in on this cycle. That made me feel totally hopeless and I was a tiny bit upset. (Ok, who am I kidding? I wailed like a big baby.) I talked to Kim this morning though and she said that there is no reason to cancel this cycle. No, it’s not optimal, but it is possible. We have other things going for us this month so that helps. Also the HCG shot that Jason gave me last night should help thicken it. We’ll check it again tomorrow before or after the IUI just so we know how the lining ended up. I just keep trying to focus on my pretty follicles and that keeps me hopeful.
Monday, June 2, 2008
CD14
Just got back from the u/s.
The good news: my follicles are “beautiful” especially one in particular. In my right ovary I had one measuring 16mm and another smaller one. In my left I had one measuring 19.5 (that’s the beautiful one), one at 17.4, and another smaller one. This explains why my ovaries hurt when I cough – it was awful last night! There are more mature/almost mature ones than on the injectables! They don’t think that the 16 will grow enough to be in play so aren’t too concerned about triplets. Just watch that happen though.
The bad news: my lining was still only 4.7. She said that it didn’t mean it’s impossible, just may be harder. I think this is part of the reason we’re not too concerned about triplets. It’s an uphill battle to begin with, and the chances of all 3 fertilizing and sticking (especially when 2 of them aren’t “mature” yet anyways) is really slim.
The plan: Seeing as my OPKs were still stark white this morning, meaning I have no signs of an LH surge, I am triggering tonight to get the O going. We are also supposed to get busy tonight and then we have an IUI scheduled for Wednesday morning. We may not go to it, but they thought it was a good idea to schedule and then cancel if we want to. So we’ll see how tonight goes and if Jason is comfortable going ahead with TI for the next few days. I also have to pay attention to my CM tomorrow and if I think it seemed dried up then we’ll do the IUI.
The plan part 2: I have an appt at 2:30 with my family doctor about the cough. Not sure what they’ll be able to do about it because we’re going forward with this cycle but we’ll try. I don’t know if they can give me something that I can take for awhile since I haven’t even ovulated yet, and even if I did conceive this cycle it would be awhile before blood is shared anyways?
The good news: my follicles are “beautiful” especially one in particular. In my right ovary I had one measuring 16mm and another smaller one. In my left I had one measuring 19.5 (that’s the beautiful one), one at 17.4, and another smaller one. This explains why my ovaries hurt when I cough – it was awful last night! There are more mature/almost mature ones than on the injectables! They don’t think that the 16 will grow enough to be in play so aren’t too concerned about triplets. Just watch that happen though.
The bad news: my lining was still only 4.7. She said that it didn’t mean it’s impossible, just may be harder. I think this is part of the reason we’re not too concerned about triplets. It’s an uphill battle to begin with, and the chances of all 3 fertilizing and sticking (especially when 2 of them aren’t “mature” yet anyways) is really slim.
The plan: Seeing as my OPKs were still stark white this morning, meaning I have no signs of an LH surge, I am triggering tonight to get the O going. We are also supposed to get busy tonight and then we have an IUI scheduled for Wednesday morning. We may not go to it, but they thought it was a good idea to schedule and then cancel if we want to. So we’ll see how tonight goes and if Jason is comfortable going ahead with TI for the next few days. I also have to pay attention to my CM tomorrow and if I think it seemed dried up then we’ll do the IUI.
The plan part 2: I have an appt at 2:30 with my family doctor about the cough. Not sure what they’ll be able to do about it because we’re going forward with this cycle but we’ll try. I don’t know if they can give me something that I can take for awhile since I haven’t even ovulated yet, and even if I did conceive this cycle it would be awhile before blood is shared anyways?
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Update
Had an u/s yesterday morning. My lining is only 4.2 (and she had to measure it 4 times to get a measurement that big.) So that's bad.
My follicles were decent. I had one in my right ovary that measured 13.8. Then I had 3 in my left ovary - measuring 14.3, 13.6,and a small one at 9.6. So as far as that goes, it's nice that there are three that seem to be maturing nicely. In a perfect cycle we'd have liked them to be a bit bigger by CD12, but when does the perfect cycle ever happen? None of it will matter anyways if my lining doesn't thicken.
I go back tomorrow morning for another u/s.
My follicles were decent. I had one in my right ovary that measured 13.8. Then I had 3 in my left ovary - measuring 14.3, 13.6,and a small one at 9.6. So as far as that goes, it's nice that there are three that seem to be maturing nicely. In a perfect cycle we'd have liked them to be a bit bigger by CD12, but when does the perfect cycle ever happen? None of it will matter anyways if my lining doesn't thicken.
I go back tomorrow morning for another u/s.
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