For the second evening in a row I don't feel like crawling into bed right away. :) I didn't even have to take tylenol today, so that was nice. I also didn't feel like laying my head down at my desk all afternoon. I have no idea what the difference is, except that I had a diet coke both yesterday and today. Maybe the caffeine helped wake me up.
I was feeling so motivated, that I just went and updated my public blog with my NKOTB concert review. There are some fun videos to watch. :) The Fletchers
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Last day of birth control!
After being on birth control for the last 7 weeks, I'm so happy to be stopping it today! I know it served it's purpose but it just bugged me to be on it when our main thought is to have a baby, not prevent one. So I stop it today, will probably have some sort of bleeding in the next few days, and have my first appointment on Monday. Yay!
After my last post, things got worse with the Lupron. The headaches became constant (although tylenol helped) and I was even more exhausted. Jason and I were supposed to go out to dinner on Tuesday night but I pretty much went home and straight into my pjs. I was asleep by 9:15 that night and slept until 7:30. Yesterday evening I felt so much better though and we were able to go out to dinner. Hopefully today will be like yesterday. It's just so hard to want to do anything, but I've got lists a mile long!
Anyways, that's my update for now - I can't wait for Monday to really get things started!
After my last post, things got worse with the Lupron. The headaches became constant (although tylenol helped) and I was even more exhausted. Jason and I were supposed to go out to dinner on Tuesday night but I pretty much went home and straight into my pjs. I was asleep by 9:15 that night and slept until 7:30. Yesterday evening I felt so much better though and we were able to go out to dinner. Hopefully today will be like yesterday. It's just so hard to want to do anything, but I've got lists a mile long!
Anyways, that's my update for now - I can't wait for Monday to really get things started!
Monday, October 27, 2008
After 6 days of Lupron
I'm doing .... ok. Mostly I've been tired, and have had some dull headaches. Saturday was sort of a bad day - I just felt really out of sorts, very tired, blah, cranky, etc. I also had some bizarre spotting so that was fun. Yesterday was much of the same. Today I'm back to just being tired. I've actually been meaning to type this up for the past few days, but my head has just felt too tired in the evenings, if that makes any sense. I just don't feel like doing much of anything. The only other side effect I've noticed is that my face has had a few break outs, which is very weird for me.
On the shot front - those are going well. I've done them all myself after that first one and it's not a big deal at all. I've also avoiding bruising ever since that first one.
I'll be stopping the birth control later this week and then have an appt next Monday to make sure that everything is suppressed enough, and well start the stims!
On the shot front - those are going well. I've done them all myself after that first one and it's not a big deal at all. I've also avoiding bruising ever since that first one.
I'll be stopping the birth control later this week and then have an appt next Monday to make sure that everything is suppressed enough, and well start the stims!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I'll be loving you foorrreeevvveeerrr ....
As a break from all things fertility, I am going to see New Kids on the Block tonight! I am so excited about it and you know I'll cry at the concert. It's in Chicago and my mom is actually going with me - should be a fun girls weekend away!
Joey was (and still is!) my favorite. I think that they've improved their looks over the years though:
Joey was (and still is!) my favorite. I think that they've improved their looks over the years though:
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I did it!
I gave myself a shot tonight! It was so easy and didn't hurt at all. I managed to leave a pretty bruise, but otherwise it went well. I am just so very proud of myself. :) I think that I'll continue to give myself the Lupron - it helps make it not such an ordeal. Once we switch to the Bravelle and Repronex Jason will be involved again.
Only my mother
I sent pictures of my lucky socks to her last night. This morning when I was talking to her she commented on how she noticed they were pink and that could be construed that we’re just hoping for a girl. Except then she realized that the meds toolbox is blue, so that evened out and made it all ok. I really just bought pink socks because I love the color pink! Maybe I should see if there are matching blue ones and alternate. Although, like she said – having the blue toolbox evens it out and makes all right in the world.
I love my mother. :)
I love my mother. :)
One shot down, lots to go!
I think I know what my halloween costume will be this year - a human pincushion - haha.
I was so nervous last night, didn’t go to sleep until after 1, and tossed and turned the little bit I was able to sleep. I finally woke up at 6:15 with my stomach in knots. I wasn’t expecting to be quite so nervous! We’ve done shots before, so it’s not really anything new. It was just that it signified the start of this. Also, the most we ever did shots was for about 10 days, and usually just once a day. Now I’m going to be doing at least 2 shots/day for about 3 ½ weeks and then 1 shot/day for at least another 2 ½ weeks after that. That's daunting to think about. I need to just look at this as one day at a time.
Anyways, I was originally planning on giving the shot to myself this morning (these are tiny needles and they go in my stomach) but I was such a ball of nerves that I had Jason do it. I did pinch my skin together for him (luckily there is plenty of fat to grab in my stomach!) Maybe tonight I’ll do it myself, which will be such a huge accomplishment for me. These don’t hurt at all, although it did leave a little mosquito bite looking area.
I’m just so happy to have the first one over with!
I was so nervous last night, didn’t go to sleep until after 1, and tossed and turned the little bit I was able to sleep. I finally woke up at 6:15 with my stomach in knots. I wasn’t expecting to be quite so nervous! We’ve done shots before, so it’s not really anything new. It was just that it signified the start of this. Also, the most we ever did shots was for about 10 days, and usually just once a day. Now I’m going to be doing at least 2 shots/day for about 3 ½ weeks and then 1 shot/day for at least another 2 ½ weeks after that. That's daunting to think about. I need to just look at this as one day at a time.
Anyways, I was originally planning on giving the shot to myself this morning (these are tiny needles and they go in my stomach) but I was such a ball of nerves that I had Jason do it. I did pinch my skin together for him (luckily there is plenty of fat to grab in my stomach!) Maybe tonight I’ll do it myself, which will be such a huge accomplishment for me. These don’t hurt at all, although it did leave a little mosquito bite looking area.
I’m just so happy to have the first one over with!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Au revoir fun alcoholic beverages
We went to Cheeseburger in Paradise tonight and I had the "Cheeseburger in Paradise" drink. Then I came home and had a half bottle of wine. Hopefully this is the last night I'll be able to drink certain beverages until sometime late next year!
Lucky fertility socks
Hey, if something is supposed to help - I'll try it!
There is sort of an urban legend on many message boards - when you go to your appointments and put your feet in the stirrups (especially at the transfer) you're supposed to keep your feet warm. And actually, it may not be so much of an urban legend. Many acupuncturists recommend this - something about warm feet = warm uterus, which is a good thing. And while I was doing some research on it, I found that the Standford IVF program also suggests that you wear comfortable clothing to the transfer and "socks to keep your feet warm."
Enter the lucky socks. If you have to keep your feet warm, why not do it with lucky socks? It seems that many do sort of a fun mismatched sock thing, but really - am I a mismatched sock sort of girl? I think not. So, while Jason and I were out tonight, we bought some lucky socks! What makes them "lucky" you ask? Nothing, except that we say they are. They actually came with 2 pairs and at some point I'll send the second ones on to someone else who needs lucky fertility socks.
I love my socks! They are pink and warm and fuzzy. :)
There is sort of an urban legend on many message boards - when you go to your appointments and put your feet in the stirrups (especially at the transfer) you're supposed to keep your feet warm. And actually, it may not be so much of an urban legend. Many acupuncturists recommend this - something about warm feet = warm uterus, which is a good thing. And while I was doing some research on it, I found that the Standford IVF program also suggests that you wear comfortable clothing to the transfer and "socks to keep your feet warm."
Enter the lucky socks. If you have to keep your feet warm, why not do it with lucky socks? It seems that many do sort of a fun mismatched sock thing, but really - am I a mismatched sock sort of girl? I think not. So, while Jason and I were out tonight, we bought some lucky socks! What makes them "lucky" you ask? Nothing, except that we say they are. They actually came with 2 pairs and at some point I'll send the second ones on to someone else who needs lucky fertility socks.
I love my socks! They are pink and warm and fuzzy. :)
Such great friends!
I have received a lot of good luck/check-in phone calls, emails, and messages online for the start of this IVF cycle. I'm so lucky to have such a great support system and awesome friends. Thank you!!!!
All organized
I decided that I didn't want to do all of this with our shots, etc stuck in torn up brown paper bags. So we bought two small tool boxes tonight - I think I'm a bit obsessive (or as Jason says, anal retentive) sometimes.
Ready or not ...
First shot is tomorrow!
I've fluctuated between being excited and very anxious with panic attacks. It's just that we've always had IVF as a safety net. It was always there as one last thing to try. And now we're doing it. For awhile yesterday I didn't even want to start it. I wasn't seriously considering not doing it, but was in such a panic about it. Where would we be though if we never tried something because we might fail at it. (Or so my mother tells me.) :)
So I'm back to being excited about it - tomorrow morning is the first shot!
I've fluctuated between being excited and very anxious with panic attacks. It's just that we've always had IVF as a safety net. It was always there as one last thing to try. And now we're doing it. For awhile yesterday I didn't even want to start it. I wasn't seriously considering not doing it, but was in such a panic about it. Where would we be though if we never tried something because we might fail at it. (Or so my mother tells me.) :)
So I'm back to being excited about it - tomorrow morning is the first shot!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Our schedule
Ok, here is a link to my schedule just in case you're curious. You can change between October and November up at the top.
I didn't list the exact day when we'll find out if we're PG or not because a) the schedule will most likely change anyways, and b) we plan to keep the results to ourselves for at least a few days.
So anyways, here it is!
Our schedule
I didn't list the exact day when we'll find out if we're PG or not because a) the schedule will most likely change anyways, and b) we plan to keep the results to ourselves for at least a few days.
So anyways, here it is!
Our schedule
1 week away!!!
Jason and I had our 2 hour appointment today to sign contracts, go over the schedule, all of the meds, and ask tons of questions. It's made it that much more real and while I'm very excited, I'm also now so nervous that I think I might pee my pants.
We now have in our possession all of the meds, syringes, needles, alcohol swabs, cotton balls, etc. For your viewing pleasure:
And then all bagged up and semi-organized:
As soon as I can figure out an easy way to post my schedule I'll put that up here too. I have one they gave me that I thought I'd scan, but I've got chicken scratch notes all over it so I'm trying to clean it up some.
We now have in our possession all of the meds, syringes, needles, alcohol swabs, cotton balls, etc. For your viewing pleasure:
And then all bagged up and semi-organized:
As soon as I can figure out an easy way to post my schedule I'll put that up here too. I have one they gave me that I thought I'd scan, but I've got chicken scratch notes all over it so I'm trying to clean it up some.
National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Today is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you know of anyone who has lost a little one, please keep them in your prayers.
Hugs especially to Kat, Jenny, and Janet - you're all in my thoughts!
Hugs especially to Kat, Jenny, and Janet - you're all in my thoughts!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Killer cramps
I was having some pretty bad cramps yesterday afternoon, and sure enough found out that I'd started my period. I'm still on birth control, and knew that I could potentially get a period, but wasn't exactly expecting it. I dont't think that it should mess with the schedule at all, but it's still not fun.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Prayers needed
As you all know, Kim isn't just my nurse, but a good family friend as well. Without getting into it all, please send up a quick prayer for her son. (Ryan, he's 24.) He fell and hit his head and is in the ICU at Wishard now. He's making improvements but it's going to be a long road for all of them. Thanks!
Acupuncture
It was ... interesting. I'm still not that clear on what all it's supposed to do, other than make me relax (which it did!)
She started out asking questions about my cycle and decided that I have some hormonal imbalances, specifically progesterone/lining issues. (No big surprise there!) She looked at my tongue and from that told me that I liked sugar (yes, yes I do) and that it could mess with hormones. (Probably true, given the insulin thing.) She held my wrist for awhile and then told me I was tired. I haven’t been sleeping very well, so that explains that. Then the funniest part for me – she told me that I’m an anxious/nervous person. Not just about IVF, but about life in general. She hit that dead on. :)
Anyways, she had me take my shoes/socks off and lay down on a bed thing. She rolled my jeans up, unzipped them and lifted my shirt up some to see my belly. She started at the belly and put a needle in! She sort of set it there, and then taps down on it. It doesn’t hurt at all! There were about 4 in my belly, 2 or 3 in each wrist, a few on my forehead, a few at each knee, a few on each calf, my ankles, and my feet. I was definitely more aware of some than others – mostly ones on my left side. She set this warming lamp thing over my belly, and left the room. I got to listen to pretty music while laying there for 30 min. She came in every 5-10 minutes to check on me and would sort of tap on all of the needles – not sure if she was pushing them in farther or not. After the first 5 minutes or so I started to really relax and feel really heavy. After her first time in the room I didn’t even really have the willpower/desire/strength to open my eyes to look at her. I’m pretty sure that I went in and out of sleep for awhile – it was all very soothing and relaxing.
Then she came in, pulled them all out, and said that she wants to see me again before the retrieval. I think I’ll go around the retrieval and also the transfer.
So did it really do anything? I have my doubts. It DID help me relax, so I guess that’s something. I sort of felt like I do when I actually do those meditation/relaxation cds. It’s sort of a weird, relaxing your mind, fading in and out sort of feeling.
She started out asking questions about my cycle and decided that I have some hormonal imbalances, specifically progesterone/lining issues. (No big surprise there!) She looked at my tongue and from that told me that I liked sugar (yes, yes I do) and that it could mess with hormones. (Probably true, given the insulin thing.) She held my wrist for awhile and then told me I was tired. I haven’t been sleeping very well, so that explains that. Then the funniest part for me – she told me that I’m an anxious/nervous person. Not just about IVF, but about life in general. She hit that dead on. :)
Anyways, she had me take my shoes/socks off and lay down on a bed thing. She rolled my jeans up, unzipped them and lifted my shirt up some to see my belly. She started at the belly and put a needle in! She sort of set it there, and then taps down on it. It doesn’t hurt at all! There were about 4 in my belly, 2 or 3 in each wrist, a few on my forehead, a few at each knee, a few on each calf, my ankles, and my feet. I was definitely more aware of some than others – mostly ones on my left side. She set this warming lamp thing over my belly, and left the room. I got to listen to pretty music while laying there for 30 min. She came in every 5-10 minutes to check on me and would sort of tap on all of the needles – not sure if she was pushing them in farther or not. After the first 5 minutes or so I started to really relax and feel really heavy. After her first time in the room I didn’t even really have the willpower/desire/strength to open my eyes to look at her. I’m pretty sure that I went in and out of sleep for awhile – it was all very soothing and relaxing.
Then she came in, pulled them all out, and said that she wants to see me again before the retrieval. I think I’ll go around the retrieval and also the transfer.
So did it really do anything? I have my doubts. It DID help me relax, so I guess that’s something. I sort of felt like I do when I actually do those meditation/relaxation cds. It’s sort of a weird, relaxing your mind, fading in and out sort of feeling.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Update (I need more original titles)
I don't really have much to blog about because we're still in that waiting/countdown stage. We're getting closer though! We had our infectious disease testing last Saturday and I had a flu shot yesterday. Otherwise, I've pretty much just been trying to stay busy. I've been reading lots of trashy romance novels (those will take your mind off anything!) and in the last two weeks I've been to the zoo, an apple orchard, and Home-A-Rama. I had fun at all of them, although cried a bit on the way home from the first two. They were (obviously) filled with families and on the way home each time it hit me how badly I want to be able to do those things with our own kids.
Anyways, for the weekly countdown:
TODAY! - first acupuncture appointment - I'm nervous!
2 days until our pictures with Ryan Cook
6 days until our appt to go over paperwork, meds, schedule
9 days until the horse races!
13 days until I start Lupron
15 days until New Kids on the Block!
50 days until I break out our Christmas tree!
And I'm now down 17.8 lbs! Yay!
Anyways, for the weekly countdown:
TODAY! - first acupuncture appointment - I'm nervous!
2 days until our pictures with Ryan Cook
6 days until our appt to go over paperwork, meds, schedule
9 days until the horse races!
13 days until I start Lupron
15 days until New Kids on the Block!
50 days until I break out our Christmas tree!
And I'm now down 17.8 lbs! Yay!
Friday, October 3, 2008
That blog
They just posted another entry on the blog I mentioned below, and I'm not sure it's something I'm going to really read. I think the idea is a really good one, but it's bordering on too religous for me. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with it, and I'd like to think that I have a good faith, but some things are just too much and I don't enjoy them.
A new blog
One of the girls who used to be on my IF board (she's graduated to the success board and is due in 7 weeks or so) just started a new blog with her sister. Rachel (the one from my board) tried for 30 months to get PG - during which she had 2 failed adoptions and then IVF #1 that worked. Meanwhile her sister had 4 children in 5 years. They decided to start a blog to talk about the struggles that they both went through during that 30 months. I thought it sounded like an interesting idea, to see IF from both sides of it.
ME VS. YOU
Here is what she says about it:
Melissa (my sister) and I have talked a lot about the fact that we should write a book together about my infertility journey . It was definitely a long 30 months…and not just for me. We are closer than close can be. And this time in our life challenged that.
Melissa, having 4 children of her own with no problems what so ever, had no clue what it felt like to wonder “will I ever have a baby?” For along time this caused her to not be the most sympathetic supporter….not b.c she didn’t care, but b.c she was truly naive.
I, being blown away as to why it was taking so long to have a baby, tended to be hard to be around at times. I was an emotional wreck so often and was obviously very angry, hurt, upset, sad, confused and so many other things.
How do you combine these two worlds?
Melissa had no idea what she could or couldn’t say to me, b.c I had no idea what she could or couldn’t say.
Melissa did nothing wrong by continuing her family, but she knew at the same time she was causing so much grief and pain for her sister as I so desperately wanted a family of my own!
And I did nothing wrong in hurting when people around me were getting pregnant, but I was in turn hurting those that I loved.
Two “sides” bound and determined to stick together.
We do not have the time to write a book now, but a blog…that we can do! So, please visit us at our new place and if you or anyone you know falls into either of these categories…please send them our way!!
ME VS. YOU
Here is what she says about it:
Melissa (my sister) and I have talked a lot about the fact that we should write a book together about my infertility journey . It was definitely a long 30 months…and not just for me. We are closer than close can be. And this time in our life challenged that.
Melissa, having 4 children of her own with no problems what so ever, had no clue what it felt like to wonder “will I ever have a baby?” For along time this caused her to not be the most sympathetic supporter….not b.c she didn’t care, but b.c she was truly naive.
I, being blown away as to why it was taking so long to have a baby, tended to be hard to be around at times. I was an emotional wreck so often and was obviously very angry, hurt, upset, sad, confused and so many other things.
How do you combine these two worlds?
Melissa had no idea what she could or couldn’t say to me, b.c I had no idea what she could or couldn’t say.
Melissa did nothing wrong by continuing her family, but she knew at the same time she was causing so much grief and pain for her sister as I so desperately wanted a family of my own!
And I did nothing wrong in hurting when people around me were getting pregnant, but I was in turn hurting those that I loved.
Two “sides” bound and determined to stick together.
We do not have the time to write a book now, but a blog…that we can do! So, please visit us at our new place and if you or anyone you know falls into either of these categories…please send them our way!!
Countdown update
I have absolutely nothing of any interest to blog about, so I thought I'd update my countdown.
1 day until our infectious disease testing
6 days until my first accupuncture appointment
8 days until our pictures with Ryan Cook
12 days until our big appointment to go over all meds, schedule, etc
15 days until we go to the horse races at Keeneland
19 days until I start Lupron
29 days until New Kids on the Block!!
56 days until we can decorate for Christmas! (Day after Turkey Day - just thought I'd throw that in there.)
Oh, I guess one small update is that I bought all of the meds that we needed to. It ended up costing a little bit less than we expected so that was nice. Dr. Aziz Pharmacy is my new favorite place.
And I'm down 16.8 lbs! Yay! Still trying to hit 20 lbs by the time we start Lupron - I think it's doable!
1 day until our infectious disease testing
6 days until my first accupuncture appointment
8 days until our pictures with Ryan Cook
12 days until our big appointment to go over all meds, schedule, etc
15 days until we go to the horse races at Keeneland
19 days until I start Lupron
29 days until New Kids on the Block!!
56 days until we can decorate for Christmas! (Day after Turkey Day - just thought I'd throw that in there.)
Oh, I guess one small update is that I bought all of the meds that we needed to. It ended up costing a little bit less than we expected so that was nice. Dr. Aziz Pharmacy is my new favorite place.
And I'm down 16.8 lbs! Yay! Still trying to hit 20 lbs by the time we start Lupron - I think it's doable!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Meaning behind my song list
Dixie Chicks - It's so Hard
This is the song I listen to when I want to kick and scream that it's not fair. It's not an inspirational feel better type song, but it makes me feel better nontheless. I feel like I can throw a temper tantrum with it. :) My favorite part of the song:
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard
Michael Buble - Lost
This song means alot to Jason and I. It's about us, the strength we've gained, and how we're in this journey together. The chorus is:
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Until the light comes pouring through
It's when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
Dream Big - Ryan Shupe
This is just a great, great 'feel better' inspirational type song. I'd never heard it before, but then recently drug out a cd that was a favor at a friend's wedding. This song happened to be on it. I don't even know that there is one favorite part, so here's most of the lyrics:
When you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,
'Cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile, be sure to smile wide,
And don't let them know that they have won.
And when you walk, walk with pride,
And don't show the hurt inside,
Because the pain sill soon be gone.
And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.
And when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,
And it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength
to help to carry on,
When the troubles come your way.
Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
I have loved this song for years. Before it ever came on the radio, my brother found it online at AOL Music. It was shortly after my dad died, but we all immediately knew that this was a song that he would have loved. It ended up being a song that my brother, sister, and I all sang when we got together, jamming in the living room with the guitar and piano. What does this have to do with infertility you ask? Not much. One morning a few months ago though, Jason Mraz was playing it live on WZPL. I was having a particularly bad day, so turned it up because, like I said, I love the song. Towards the end he ended up going in to "Don't worry, be happy." I'd never heard him do that before, and as odd as it sounds, I felt like the song was speaking to me.
Monty Python - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Another song that has had meaning to us for a few years. My dad loved Monty Python, and loved this song. It was the last song he played on the piano, the morning that he unexpectedly passed away. It's actually the phrase that we put on his headstone as well, because it depicts how my dad looked at life. It's just another "if you feel your life is crappy" song, that just makes me feel better. One of the verses and chorus:
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]
Michael Buble - Smile
I told you I loved Michael Buble! :) This is the song I listen to when I'm looking for strength. There are times - before going to my HS reunion when I wasn't sure how many babies/PG women there would be - or before going to a baby shower, etc - that this song gives me the strength I need to get through it. My favorite part:
smile
though your heart is aching
smile
even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky,
you'll get by
if you smile
through your fear and sorrow
smile
and maybe tomorrow
you'll see the sun
come shining through for you
Kellie Coffey - I would die for that
I wasn't able to add the song on here, and I've put the lyrics on here before so won't do it again, but it completes my playlist.
This is the song I listen to when I want to kick and scream that it's not fair. It's not an inspirational feel better type song, but it makes me feel better nontheless. I feel like I can throw a temper tantrum with it. :) My favorite part of the song:
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard
Michael Buble - Lost
This song means alot to Jason and I. It's about us, the strength we've gained, and how we're in this journey together. The chorus is:
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Until the light comes pouring through
It's when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
Dream Big - Ryan Shupe
This is just a great, great 'feel better' inspirational type song. I'd never heard it before, but then recently drug out a cd that was a favor at a friend's wedding. This song happened to be on it. I don't even know that there is one favorite part, so here's most of the lyrics:
When you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,
'Cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile, be sure to smile wide,
And don't let them know that they have won.
And when you walk, walk with pride,
And don't show the hurt inside,
Because the pain sill soon be gone.
And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.
And when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,
And it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength
to help to carry on,
When the troubles come your way.
Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
I have loved this song for years. Before it ever came on the radio, my brother found it online at AOL Music. It was shortly after my dad died, but we all immediately knew that this was a song that he would have loved. It ended up being a song that my brother, sister, and I all sang when we got together, jamming in the living room with the guitar and piano. What does this have to do with infertility you ask? Not much. One morning a few months ago though, Jason Mraz was playing it live on WZPL. I was having a particularly bad day, so turned it up because, like I said, I love the song. Towards the end he ended up going in to "Don't worry, be happy." I'd never heard him do that before, and as odd as it sounds, I felt like the song was speaking to me.
Monty Python - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Another song that has had meaning to us for a few years. My dad loved Monty Python, and loved this song. It was the last song he played on the piano, the morning that he unexpectedly passed away. It's actually the phrase that we put on his headstone as well, because it depicts how my dad looked at life. It's just another "if you feel your life is crappy" song, that just makes me feel better. One of the verses and chorus:
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]
Michael Buble - Smile
I told you I loved Michael Buble! :) This is the song I listen to when I'm looking for strength. There are times - before going to my HS reunion when I wasn't sure how many babies/PG women there would be - or before going to a baby shower, etc - that this song gives me the strength I need to get through it. My favorite part:
smile
though your heart is aching
smile
even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky,
you'll get by
if you smile
through your fear and sorrow
smile
and maybe tomorrow
you'll see the sun
come shining through for you
Kellie Coffey - I would die for that
I wasn't able to add the song on here, and I've put the lyrics on here before so won't do it again, but it completes my playlist.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
My soundtrack
I figured out how to add a playlist to this blog, so if you have your volume turned up, you can listen to some music! :) If you scroll down to the very bottom you can see the list of what they are (it's not very long.) They are all ones that I've really liked listening to while going through this crap. Tonight I'll try to type up why I put each one on there, just in case anyone cares.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
