I'm convinced my body hates me.

I wouldn't say that things are awful yet, and there has been no talk of canceling, but it just seems that nothing ever really goes the way it's supposed to. I'm a "slow responder", "poor responder", have "resistant ovaries." What the hell does all of this mean? And WHY WHY WHY???

Had another u/s this morning. The follies have grown, so that’s good I guess. They are roughly 13, 11, 11, 11, 9, 9, 8, 6, and 4. So 9 still, although that 6 and 4 probably won’t catch up. It’s just so hard to not compare to other people, or even myself in previous cycles. There is a girl from my message board who had her appt yesterday that was the same as mine today. She had 15-20 follies that were getting close, and her estradiol was 3600! I don’t know what my E2 is yet today, but I found out that on Saturday it was only 58. 58?!? Even if you compare it to previous cycles, it was higher than that on that day. Even compared to my friend Andrea who was also a slower stimmer (13 days total) it was much lower. She thinks that with the follies growing we’ll see an increase today, but I’m not exactly optimistic at this point. My lining was just over 6, which makes me think my E2 won’t be very high. I guess though, compared to the follies, it might be ok. If only my body would wake up and respond!! Argh.

So now I’m back at work with the ever present headache, the ever present need to cry, and the ever present urge to curl up into a ball for the next however many weeks.

Maybe we should stop and use that money to run away to a tropical island.