As suspected, not pregnant. AF hasn't actually arrived but my temps are lower and I went ahead and tested this morning - stark white. At 13dpiui, I'm confident that is accurate. In Clomid months my LP is longer, so I imagine I'll actually start tomorrow or Thursday at the latest.
The worst part about this morning was that Jason apparently woke up when I did, so he knew I was in the bathroom testing. Previous months he's slept right through it. So when I came out and walked around to my side of the bed he asked me. When I told him not pregnant he sounded so sad and said, "yea, I kind of figured." I normally come back to bed crying and tell him anyways, but something about him asking me, and knowing that he was awake listening to me in the bathroom, probably holding his breath that I'd run out with amazing news, just really got to me.
First infertility stamp
The problem with infertility is that I am mourning children that do not exist and I'm the only one who misses them.
TTC Journey
- Cycle #26 - 37 days
- Cycle #25 - FET cycle - transferred in an expanding blast and a morula on 3/23/09 - BFN
- Cycle #24 - 30 days - BFN
- Cycle #23 - 28 days, O on CD 18, 10 day LP - BFN
- Cycle #22 - 32 days, O on CD 22, 10 day LP - BFN
- Cycle #21 (or 20.5) - start stims on 11/3, Trigger on 11/13 (E2 at 682), ER on 11/15 (8 eggs retrieved, 6 mature, 6 fertilized), ET on 11/20 (2 grade A blasts, 2 were frozen) - BFN
- Cycle #20 - still on bcp - started Lupron shots on Oct. 22nd
- Cycle #19 - Break cycle - on bcp to regulate for IVF cycle
- Cycle #18 - On on CD 15 (Lepori on CD 3-10 - upped to 4 vials on CD 9, trigger on CD 13 with follicles at 18.7, 15.8, 15.4, 13.4 and smaller ones, lining at 9.3, E2 at 639, IUI on CD15) - BFN
- Cycle #17 - 22 day, O on CD 13 (Lepori on CD 3-10, trigger on CD11 with follicles at 19.3, 19, 17.4 and 5 smaller ones, lining at 9.1, E2 at 542, IUI on CD13) - BFN
- Cycle #16 - 29 day, O on CD 15 (5mg Letrozole on CD 3-7, trigger on CD13/14 (2am!) with follies at 18.5, and 5 smaller ones under 12. Lining at 6.1 on CD13, IUI on CD15 in the afternoon) - BFN
- Cycle #15 - 29 days, O on CD16 (50 mg Clomid on CD3-7, trigger on CD14 with follicles at 19.5, 17.4, 16, and 2 smaller ones. Lining at 4.7 on CD14 and over 5 on CD16, IUI on CD16) - BFN
- Cycle #14 - Break Cycle - 33 days - BFN. Relaxing didn't work.
- Cycle #13 - 23 days, O on CD 13, 10 day LP (Lepori on CD3-10, trigger on CD11 with one follicle at 18, the rest small, lining at 6.7, E2 at 290, IUI on CD13) - BFN
- Cycle #12 - 24 days, O on CD 13?, 11day LP (Lepori (Repronex generic) on CD3-10, trigger on CD11 with one follicle at 18, one at 14, 5 smaller ones, and lining at 8mm, E2 at 210, IUI on CD13) - BFN
- Cycle #11 – 27 days, O on CD 13, 14 day LP (50mg Clomid on CD3-7, trigger on CD12 with follicle at 20+mm, and lining at 4mm, IUI on CD13) – BFN
- Cycle #10 – 31 days, O on CD 17, 14 day LP (50mg Clomid on CD3-7) – BFN
- Cycle #9 – 36 days, forced break on Yaz, due to cyst - BFN
- Cycle #8 – 29 days, O on CD16, 14 day LP (50mg Clomid on CD3-7, found cyst on CD12) - BFN
- Cycle #7 – 30 days, O on CD16, 14 day LP (50mg Clomid on CD3-7, P4=32.5 at 5dpo) - BFN
- Cycle #6 – 35 days, O on CD23, 12 day LP (first Re appt. P4=8.7 at 8dpo) - BFN
- Cycle #5 – 35 days, O on CD22, 13 day LP - BFN
- Cycle #4 – 33 days, didn’t chart - BFN
- Cycle #3 – 28 days, O on CD15, 13 day LP - BFN
- Cycle #2 – 34 days, O on CD15, 19 day LP (took B6 to extend LP) - BFN
- Cycle #1 – 28 days, O on CD21, 7 day LP - BFN
Play list
2 comments:
Sorry babe. The image of Jason laying in bed waiting for you is breaking my heart.
oh, Laura...I'm so sorry.
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