A day to cry

After I posted the update this morning I pretty much lost control of all emotions. I emailed my boss around 8:30 and told him I'd be in at 10. At 10:30 I was still in my bed crying. I just couldn't get out of the funk. I ended up making it to work about 11:30 and lasted about 5 minutes before I burst into tears again. I went in to my other boss's office (Brian, who I always complain about) and told him that I just couldn't make it through the day. I didn't tell him why, but I think he knows what's going on, and really, in an office full of males, who is going to tell the sobbing girl she can't go home? He also ended up giving me a hug, which was sweet of him, but really awkward and weird.

Then I went over to see my friend Laura and went on a long walk with her, and started to feel much better. I went home after that and read a romance novel, and started to read two other books that I ordered.

Speaking of the books I ordered - they were "The Empty Picture Frame" and "I am more than my infertility." If you look at them on Amazon, the reviews are great. It's so nice to read books that I can really relate to. It makes me feel so much better to read their stories and realize that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. It seems that everyone who goes through this has the same feelings/insecurities/etc.

I feel the same way when I read my message board. It's so weird to feel such a bond with a bunch of women that I've never really met, but who are going through something similar and can relate in ways that others can't. That's not to say that I don't cherish the support from my real life friends, but the overwhelming closeness with women I've never actually met is incredible. I don't think I'm doing a good job of explaining it and how it makes me feel, but it really is indescribable.